Facebook Phenomenon Vol.1

Facebook Phenomenon: We will explore together how Facebook changes people’s lives and makes them weird

Vol.1- Married People

Okay Sooooo….I know a bunch of married people who have Facebook pages and almost every single one of them handles it differently and sometimes in very weird ways. Let’s explore!

First there’s me: I’m married. It says it on the relationship status part right on my page (not hidden). While I don’t CONSTANTLY talk about my husband (because I’m an actual person aside from being married) I do occasionally refer to him and take pictures with him. I tag him in stuff and send stuff to his page and occasionally have conversations through posts that sometimes annoys but always entertains my friends but the point is You KNOW that I’m married. I’m not hiding it or throwing it in your face. It just…is.  I think this may be the most normal way to do stuff.  (Hey but I’m no expert)

The Person that has no relationship status: These are the people that you only know they’re married if you were like…. at the wedding.  I know a BUNCH of these people. I feel like they’re just being thirsty waiting on someone to think they’re cute and flirt. I knew this one dude for YEARS and he was always posting club pictures and commenting on girls pages and flirting (I seriously thought he was single) then I randomly see him at a party and he’s like “Heeyyyy…Um. This is my wife.” I was like CONGRATS! Did you just get married? Let me shake the hand of the girl that finally tamed this one.  She was like, “No. we’ve been married for seven years. What makes you say that?”

1319738930_homer_simpson_hides_in_hedge

The “I never talk about my significant other”: You know this person is married. They may even say it on their status but they talk about everything EXCEPT being in a relationship.  I know a couple that have their own FB accounts and yet they NEVER refer to each other on their respective pages. One of them is always talking about how horrible their life is and that no one loves them and the other one just has post after post of living it up single style. It got to the point that I actually called them up (yes on the phone) to ask them if they were still together. (And they were)  It’s so confusing.

confused

The “I’m only about my kids”: I get this one….sorta. I know a girl (well more than one actually but I’m talking about one in particular) who fills her Facebook page up with pics of her kids and occasionally  the “I’m out with my girls” post. She has a husband and has been married for years and there is no mention of him…..like no where. Like he doesn’t exist. (But I know he does) Isn’t that a little bit weird? Just a touch? Like the only time he appears in anything is by accident because maybe she forgot to crop him out or something. When people act like this it makes me jump to wild conclusions like:  1.Their significant other is horribly disfigured or just incredibly ugly and they are ashamed to be associated with them 2. They really don’t like the significant other and they want to pretend they don’t exist. 3.The significant other is in the CIA or Witness Protection Program and to show their face would put them in grave danger.  4.They are married to an alien.

The “I’m married and I want you to know every minute of every day”: This is the chick that changes her name to Mrs. His first and last name and their profile picture is ALWAYS a pic of them together or just him. EVERY post is about some item of minutia that concerns her man. We really don’t care about what he ate for breakfast or the fact that you both are wearing blue shirts today. Hubby left for work 😦 …..We don’t care.  Hubby is back from work 🙂 …..still don’t care. We get it! You gotta a man! No really, I’m happy for you but I will be unfollowing you now. Also usually the person that is getting over shared about is the “I never talk about my significant other”. Slow clap for you having a man (or a woman. This phenomenon goes both ways)slow clap

 

The “We love each other so much we only have one Facebook account with both our names on it”:

jonah_the-fI wasn’t going to write anything about this one but I do have a few people on my friends list that do this so let me splain. I guess this is supposed to prove how much you guys trust each other? But really all it does is point out  how much you don’t each other. Why can’t you SIMPLY know each others passwords or know that they’re doing the right thing? If you don’t trust your significant other then just snoop and break into their page like the rest of us self respecting adults.

woman-snooping-pf

 

Join in the conversation. I’m sure I missed a few…..

~VC

 

 

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