My bad advice….

I’m aware that I am no expert on well…anything. But If asked I will give advice. I realize my advice is based on my own experiences and thus may not apply to anyone else.

But hey I’m a blogger so I’ll share it with you guys.

One thing I often give advice about is dating which is highly ironic since I have been married my entire adult life.  But whatevs.  This advice was given to a girl who is a serial relationshipper. Meaning she runs from one relationship to another. Here’s what I told her.

My second year of college I found myself single after I dumped my cheating ass boyfriend. I had an opportunity to date a great guy named Tim. He was on the basketball team and was tall and sweet and intelligent and he’s probably like a Senator or something now. Anyhoo….I dated him for a short period of time. And he was a complete gentleman. I mean we slept together (in the same bed) and he kept to himself  (for the most part). He moved things along really quickly. Too quickly. Two weeks in and he was ready to tell me he loved me (he didn’t but he was going to). He was from Chicago and wanted to take me back to meet his mama and his family and started talking about our future and shit. That freaked me the fuck out and I gave him that soft send off into that sweet dark night. Yeah he had to go. I actually feel bad about that but things work out as they should. Hey Hubbs!!!

After that I decided to date and be single for one year.  I wanted to date as many guys as possible. I needed to find out what kind of guy I liked and what I wanted out of a relationship. I went butt nutty. I dated a guy from every restaurant I liked going to.  I dated a super tall guy. He was six foot eight.  It was incredible because I could wear my six inch heels and he was still taller than me. I dated a pretty boy.  A rich boy. A thug. A white guy (a couple of white guys). An African dude (He wanted to take me back to Africa. Pass). A gym rat. A really smart guy. A dumb guy.  A sweet guy (<— I really liked him). A weed smoker (Pass). A workout dude. Lots of older dude’s. Okay I dated a lot. It was great. I will blog about why it was so great later. I never had sex with any of the guys….I just dated them.  I will blog about how it all ended in another blog.

But the point is if I had never done that I really wouldn’t have known what I wanted in a man and a relationship. And also what kind of mate I am. I suggest every young woman do this. I will suggest it to my daughter too. Although I have no idea if people date without sex anymore and by the time my kid dates I am almost positive no one will know what dating is.  So this advice may be obsolete by then but it worked for me. I think it’s important to know who you are and what you want. A lot of mistakes can be avoided if you’re sure about these things.

When I finally met my husband I knew exactly when I loved him and could identify my feelings right away. I knew I wanted to marry him and why.

Just my experience.

VC

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