In the beginning…. Part 1

So I posted about my dating and how I knew my husband was the one.  I got a lot of feedback about that post and emails wanting to know  how I met my husband and the story of us. Oooooo Y’all just nosey but will tell you the story piece by piece.

Okay after I’d had the year of being single where I dated as much as I could, I got into a long term relationship. My mom basically guilted me into it.  That is actually a funny story. But anyway, getting out of that long term disaster led me to my hubbs.  To get to that story, you have to start at the beginning.

My mom asked me where I was going one day and I said out on a date. She was like didn’t you just get back from a date? I had and I was going out on another. My mom warned me that one of these guys I was “playing around with” was going to catch feelings and get mad. Boy was she right.

Remember the super tall guy I said I dated? Well anyhoo, I was going out with him. We’d been dating for a couple of weeks and he knew the deal. I never lied to any of them. I told them I was dating multiple people at the same time. All that did was spark the competitive spirit in the guys. Like who could make me fall for them first or who could get the draws first.  But it was fun. The super tall dude was taking me out and he was trying to make it special. He took me to his friends apartment complex. It had the best pool set up I have seen to this day. It had a large waterfall and a glass enclosed jacuzzi. It was beautiful. I didn’t have a swim suit and that was his plan. He takes his pants off and gets in with his underwear and reaches his hand out for me.

The first thing out of my mouth was, “Nope. I told  you I wasn’t sleeping with you.” Look maybe he could have gotten further if his big red draws didn’t have a hole in them.  Maybe if he hadn’t taken off his shirt  for me to discover his saggy bitch tits. (his clothes hid them well). Maybe if his wet underwear hadn’t outlined the fact that he was NOT holding. (Note: He could have been a grower). Maybe if he hadn’t declared his love for me after just a couple of weeks of random dating…… but he did and the combination of all those things made me want to run not walk to the nearest exit. When he realized I wasn’t taking my clothes off or getting any where near him, a series of unfortunate events happened.

Do you remember the episode of the Simpson’s where Lisa breaks Ralph’s heart? Well….that happened.

I could actually see when his heart broke. But after his pain came anger. I mean a lot of anger. He threw his clothes over his wet body and hole-y underwear. Then he grabbed me by the arm and dragged me back to the car. The only thing he said to me were his famous last words, “You are a cruel bitch.” as I left his car.

Needless to say I felt my mom’s words come back to haunt me. I felt like complete CRAP for hurting this dude. I am not a cruel bitch and all I wanted to do was find a guy to be with after that.  I dated a few more guys but pulled out a big zero. Then came the long term disaster. I will talk about that in part two.

So you’d think the story of the super tall guy would be over…and you’d be wrong.  Years later, after I’d gotten married and was starting my young life, I was on the way to work.

A big red new shiny pick up pulls up on the side of me. The guy inside is honking and rolling his window down. After a few minutes I recognize him. Super Tall guy. he signals for me to pull over. I don’t know why I did but I did. I get out and hug him and tell how good he looks….because he did. He obviously had been hitting the gym. He tells me he’s a fireman now. (Me and firemen) I congratulate him. He told me how he thought about me a lot after we broke up. (I’m thinking we were never together to break up) Then he tells me how good I look. I thank him. Then he tells me he’s married. I congratulate him again. I tell him so am I.  Then he says maybe we can hook up. I’m like well….okay maybe we can double date. (I’m thinking no way in hell but I’m gonna say it to be nice) Then he says….”No just you and me. Hook Up” .  “What?” I say.  I’m married and so are you. Then this mothertrucker says….”I thought since you are such a whore, you would be down.”

Now I would like to say I tore him down to his knees in my usual fashion but I didn’t. I obviously hurt this man and caused him so much pain that he had been harboring it for at least four years.  I was sad for him. So let him live.

I laughed and said “You have a nice life.” And got back in my car. I will have to admit that he got me. He got me. I don’t know that I deserved it but he got his revenge.

I have enjoyed writing this one. Stay tuned for the next part of “The beginning”.  Maybe I will write it tomorrow. Maybe not.



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