So I have self diagnosed myself with OCD. I literally see everything that is wrong or dirty and feel the need to fix it. I often have things running through my head all night and can’t go to sleep. And LAWD help me if I have some drama during the day. I can guarantee I am not getting any sleep.
Anyhoo, I have had insomnia since my child was born. It comes and goes and happens in degrees. The worst is when I stay up all night and right at 5:45 I drift off to sleep only to have my alarm go off at 6am.
I have really tried everything I could think of from soothing sounds to over the counter remedies. I just can’t seem to get it together on a regular basis. I think I have one night a week of just straight blissful sleep. And that’s if I’m lucky.
I know that I could let my OCD ruin my family so I keep it in check and I don’t spend my time constantly cleaning and nagging even though I want to. Boy do I want to.
I let it out in small doses like steam. In these instances I might find myself cleaning the microwave with a toothbrush or scrubbing the paint off the toilet seat And yes these things happen. I even have a problem with keeping my dvr clean. I watch something and I immediately have to delete it. I actually scroll through my playlist like, “Didn’t I watch that?” Delete. I have actually deleted things my husband never even watched or that he wanted to keep by total accident and he did not take kindly to it. I am on automatic at this point.
I think I may need therapy but its cheaper to just clean something.