So here’s what happened this weekend
Keep in mind nothing ever happens in my life anymore. I have been a total nun as of late….
So I got hit on this weekend. It was like the beginning of one my novels. I was at Whole Foods and this guy kept staring at me. He was a normal man that didn’t seem homeless so I wondered if there was something on my face. I kept shopping.
I saw the guy next to me by the vegetables. I smiled and then moved on to the fruits and then he was behind me. I was like okay?
He was good looking. Like really good looking. And tall. He reminded me of Joe Manganiello. Like for reals. He had muscles. Real muscles. He was wearing a sleeveless shirt and his biceps were bulging….and it didn’t hurt that he didn’t miss leg day.
He asked some question that I didn’t hear and I don’t remember my response because I was distracted by his chiseled jaw and straight white teeth. When he ran a hand through his curly black hair, I couldn’t help but notice the bits of gray mixed in. It made him look distinguished with his youthful face. He was mostly clean shaven with a little five o’clock shadow coming in.
To me he was way too good looking to be straight so I still didn’t get the hint. And I was in Whole Foods on Waugh soooooo…..
He had that black tape on his bicep that I have seen on James Harden and I was curious about it. And since he was still standing next to me (now next to the cheese) I asked him about it. He spent the next few minutes talking about it. That was really interesting and I think I will try it on my knee. While trying to explain how the tape sticks he said that the tape has a hard time sticking to him because he’s so hairy but it shouldn’t be a problem for my leg. He said he didn’t want to make an assumption about my legs. Then asked if they were hairless. LOL I assured him I was fine. That’s when it happened….
He said, “You’re cute. No. That’s a lie. You’re beautiful. Gorgeous.”
I almost dropped my cheese.
He was shocked by my reaction. I seriously thought he was gay but I didn’t say anything. So I am blushing so hard at this point my face hurt.
I said thank you and moved on. I go over to the milk and look up and who is by me? He touches my shoulder and gives me some advice on a milk alternative. I said I wasn’t shopping for myself but I would take his advice when I went shopping. He smiled.
Then he put his hand over his heart and said that he noticed the big ass ring on my finger and asked if I was married. I said yes I was happily married. He said he was going to give me his number but I was married. He asked me if I wanted it any way.
I told him that if I was a dirty dirty cheater then I would take his number but I’m not so I won’t. I know that if I took his number I would be tempted to call him at some point. So I didn’t. I didn’t even get his name.
Why is this such a big deal? Because 2015 must be my year to get hit on my normal people. As I have said many times before my usual is the hustleman at the gas station and the homeless man on the corner.
Moe Manganiello talking to me is a once every seven years occurrence.
Anyhoo, Happy MLK day!