Okay so I have been doing a lot of research for inspiration and motivation for writing. Sometimes my research can take me to some weird places. Now I have a lot of questions…..
I have found that I may be more vanilla than I originally thought. And….also that people like some weird shit.
Okay question one…. Have women always stuck the randomest (not a word) objects in their coochie kitties? I mean I knew about cucumbers and shit. Maybe a banana. I had even seen bottles (That is a story for another day. Let’s just say it involved one of my good friends, a stripper and Uncle Luke) but I have seen hair brushes, tooth brushes, a broom stick, the spindle of a staircase, the top of a divider pole at a park, a flashlight and the one that took the cake…..a damn toilet brush. She just stuck the whole thing up in there. I was like No…No.no.no?NO!Noooooooooooooooo.
Which leads me to my next question……Fisting.Why? I mean I know that our lady parts are meant to stretch but…..Is that actually pleasurable? And if a man is doing it to a woman what is he getting out of it? You know damn well your little ding dang ain’t doing shit for a woman that prefers your fist and most of your arm. And then if she can take all that, you know it can’t be that good for him. That would be like throwing a pencil down a hallway. He ain’t hitting no walls. My friends and I talk about sex a lot and we all agree that we have been injured by a penis at one time or another. I can’t imagine a freaking FIST?! Anyhoo…
My final question is…. when did people start masturbating at McDonald’s and Starbucks? Why is this a trend? PSA: Never sit your bare ass on any seat at these places. Tuck your dress under at all costs. Never forget. Wear pants…hell bring a towel and place it over the chair cuz chances are some girl’s open vagina has been on it.
Anyhoo….back to writing.