On second thought

Okay so, I have the kind of face that reads friendly. I guess that’s what it is…..But people feel the need to talk to me…and say anything.

Because it happens all the time, I am usually just amused and then tell my FB family about it. But one story in particular got me to thinking.  Not only do complete strangers feel the need to tell me crazy shit but they sexually harass me too.

Okay here’s what happened. I ran out of ink and printer paper so I went to my neighborhood Office Depot. I was looking like an extra from the movie Set it Off. My look was complete with cornrows, hoodie and sunglasses. I just wanted to run in and run out not walk the runway.

When I got to the checkout, the dude (who was about 22 or 23 y/o) looks me up and down. He says his usual customer service spill but then as I turn to leave he says…. “But them titties tho!” He says it under his breath.
I stopped walking mid-stride and turn to confirm what I heard. I know I have mom hearing but I don’t get it right all the time. (who am I kidding….yes I do).  Anyhoo, when I turned around the guy was super shocked that I heard him.  He looked like he wanted to disappear into the bushes Homer Simpson style.

1319738930_homer_simpson_hides_in_hedgeI looked down and my hoodie had unzipped showing my very thin undershirt and bra underneath. I re-zipped my hoodie and shook my head.  (At him, not me)

Here’s what made me take a second thought….when I posted about my experience chronicling the never ending weirdness that is my life, the GUYS were outraged for me.  They wanted me to go back and get dude fired. They were mad at how disrespectful that was.

Now I don’t know. Like I said, this type of thing happens all the time to me. Maybe the frequency of these occurrences has desensitized me to the wrongness of it. Maybe it was how young the guy was. Maybe it was the fact that he had been professional up until that point. Maybe it was because he said the offensive remark to himself and not to another person or to me but… I just didn’t get that mad.

As I read through the comments on my post I realized I should have been more mad though. What if someone had said that to my daughter? I would have probably slapped the dude and I definitely would have told his manager. So why was I willing to accept this for myself?

But then I started thinking if I were to go to off on that dude…what do I say to the white lady who stopped to tell me how beautiful she thought black women’s bodies were, especially their butts and that mine was particularly nice. I mean…what? Okay. On the surface that was a compliment but it’s also….not a compliment. It was slightly racist, a little sexist and a lot weird.  The woman who said it was my age. I kind of expect that from someone who is older.  That lady said her comment directly to me not under her breath like the Office Depot dude. Which is worse? or are they both the same?

When I told my FB family about that one….they exploded. (Keep in my I have the rainbow coalition of friends) Everybody was offended for me and had their own opinions to share. I was mostly stunned by the fact that the lady went into detail about how she admired the roundness of my ass more than offended that she was talking about “black women’s” bodies.  I wasn’t really offended by that either. Maybe I should have been? I don’t know.

I have no problem with white people giving black people compliments because…well that shouldn’t be a problem. I just think they way that lady was saying “black women” was the problem. And then their was the whole discussing my ass with a stranger thing. Weird right?

I don’t know. Maybe I’m over thinking things and I should let it go like I did the first time. Unfortunately, for me I know that someone will say something weird, stupid, sexist or whatever to me again. That’s the way of my face. LOL

I have been trying to work on my resting bitch face to scare people away but that doesn’t work either. I think it’s because you can see my dimples even when I’m mad.

Anyhoo, that’s just something I was thinking about.

~VC

 

 

 

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