Okay so….In my real life I am a complicated person. I will admit that. I believe in loyalty. Like I fiercely believe in loyalty. So if you are one of my friends then count yourself lucky because I will roll with you. I will be that person you can count on. Quintuple that if you are apart of my family.
But on the flip side….if you cross me too many times (sometimes that is only once) I will write you off and cut you out. Once that line is crossed, I don’t look back. Once you’re gone, you’re gone.
I say all that to talk about a few of my family members. I mean sometimes the people closest to you will do you dirtier than perfect strangers. Unfortunately, I have been going through that lately. It is perplexing to me how someone who actually NEEDS you to do something for them will treat you like THEY are the one’s doing YOU the favor.
I am a firm believer in that saying, “The world don’t owe you nothing.” So when someone actually does something for you then you should be thankful if not grateful. And if I am the person taking time out of my day to do something for you then you damn well betta be thankful.
I have been doing things for my family for years and it seems none of them are ever really grateful. They will find something to complain about or be mad at ME about or just plain out take me for granted. And then turn right around and ask me for something else. Why do I continue doing stuff for them? Well first, I do things out of the goodness of my heart, not to get anything back. But second, I know that if I were to cut them off then they would be cut off forever. I am trying to avoid that as much as I can. But at some point I will say enough is enough.
I know (because I have done it before) that I may be sad for a moment but then comes the feeling of freedom of knowing I won’t have to put up with the bullshit anymore. And if I get that taste of freedom then I ain’t going back to the bullshit. So I keep trying because I love my family and I am fiercely loyal.
You see my conundrum?